Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
