I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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