quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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