My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
