I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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