You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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