he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
