The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Randomize
