it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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