In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the day after is always just damage control
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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