What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
