My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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