xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
