He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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