Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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