Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
