are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
