My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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