its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Randomize
