Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
