he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
