Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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