would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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