It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
