we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
