i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
