my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
