Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
