Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
