Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We need a shit load of segways right now
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
