I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
