Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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