Sry I called you an 8
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
BRING THE BAGELS
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
