Can i not drive my cunt home
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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