if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
