y did u give ur computer a hand job?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
one might say we're banned from that church
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
