I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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