I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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