fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he puts the penis in happiness.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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