one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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