Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
