absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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