this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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