Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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