I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
