I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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