just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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