Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
