It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
