dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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